Next Time you Die Stay Dead
by Athena's Owl
Summary: You think he's dead but is he really? Chapters 7 and 8 up!
1. Chapter 1

Next Time You Die Stay Dead

By

Morgan-le-fay06

**A/N: Kay. This is a random idea I had. Somewhat tragic in this chapter but it will hopefully lean more towards the humorous side in later chapters. Hope you all enjoy.**

**Warnings: Character death, some mild language**

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: What do you think?**

**Summary: She couldn't believe it. He was actually gone. **

Elizabeth couldn't believe it. He was actually gone. All the times he had been pulled from the cold and clawing arms of death were for nothing. No, she corrected herself. Not for nothing. If he had died the first time Atlantis probably wouldn't be here, even now. Speaking of which just how many times had he almost died? More then enough, she thought. He had no idea how much worry he caused people when he disappeared or was lying still and pale on an infirmary bed. Never mind everybody else, how much worry he caused her. But now there was nothing Carson could do to bring his body back to life. Never again would she see that charming smile, those mischievous eyes, or the wild hair that never stayed flat. She had to accept the fact that he was dead.

And yet she couldn't. There was some small part of her nagging that he was still there somehow. She was driving herself in circles trying to say that he wasn't there but her sub-conscious still believing that he was.

She sat at her desk rolling the pot he gave her for her birthday between her palms. She sighed as she gazed down at the mounting pile of paper work in front of her. It had been so hard to focus since they had returned through the gate.

It had been a horrible sight. The gate had activated with the all too common sounds of gun fire in the background. They had dropped the shield when the IDC had come through. Teyla and Rodney came through dragging John with them and Ronon had been providing covering fire. Elizabeth had immediately called for a med-team. The gate had shut down and only then did Elizabeth get a full look at the scene un-folding before her. She had run down the stairs to join the small group of people on the floor. Rodney looked panicked, Teyla was desperately trying to keep herself calm, and Ronon had a look of pure anger on his face. She had knelt down beside him and seen the spread of blood beneath him. His eyes were closed and his breathing was short and pained. Rodney had, at that point, yelled for the "damn too slow med-team". Elizabeth watched horrified as his breathing slowed and eventually stopped. Teyla was still attempting to stem the blood flow from his chest when Carson had finally arrived. He had quickly joined the group and his eyes had widened as he felt for a pulse. Everyone had cleared out of the way as Carson had frantically tried to restart his heart; all to no avail. And with that Lt. Colonel John Sheppard had died in the Atlantis gate room.

In the debriefing, the team had explained how the local village had taken high offense at their possession of weapons. The village had attacked, with ironically developed weaponry and had chased the team back to the gate. While Rodney had dialed the IDC the natives had continued open fire on the team. John had been hit in the chest while trying to buy Rodney more time. Rodney and Teyla had grabbed him and pulled him through the event horizon while Ronon had covered them. After that the whole of Atlantis knew what had happened.

As Elizabeth remembered all of this again for the thousandth time she once again felt tears stinging in her eyes. Everyday since then, she had felt his presence and even seen him occasionally. Once walking down a hallway, several times staring at the doorway to his quarters, and a few times leaning against the doorframe to her office, giving the famous smile. She had gone to see Carson who had said that it was normal for her to be seeing things giving how close she had been to him. He told her that some of the other personnel had seen him as well, Rodney being the second most frequent to her. He had offered her something to help her sleep at night but she had refused, not wanting to get rid of the last vestiges of his life.

She set the pot back down and gazed unseeingly and the reports in front of her. At this very moment she could practically feel him hovering over her shoulder as he sometimes would. She could even feel a slight breath of air against her neck. She felt it again. This was the most realistic thing that had happened yet. As always she looked behind her shoulder just to make sure; and looked into the very real face of John Sheppard.

"What'cha working on?" he asked cheerfully.

Elizabeth fainted.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Big thank-you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. If anyone has any suggestions for the story feel free to suggest them! Other then that on with the show!**

Rodney sat at his desk in the lab drowning himself in paperwork and calculations. Ever since John had died in front of his very eyes he had been using work to block out everything. He felt more grief then he ever thought he would. Although he hated to admit it he had actually been friends with the man who was now gone to Atlantis forever.

He sighed and shut off the tablet he had been working on. There was only so much work you could do before everything came crashing back down on you again.

A little piece of paper fluttered onto the desk in front of him. "Zelenka, what the hell do you think you are doing?" He yelled irritably. He turned to find the Czech scientist on the other side of the lab.

"I am still working on the calculations." He said surprised at Rodney's sudden out burst.

Rodney looked utterly confused. He just shook his and grumbled "Never mind," before turning back to his own desk. Zelenka shrugged and went back to his work.

Rodney picked up the piece of paper and turned it over. There was writing on the side of it that had previously been facing down. Rodney's face paled as he recognized the scrawl. Despite his shock he read it anyways.

_You might want to go check on Elizabeth. _

_Ghostie_

_P.S That calculation is wrong_

Rodney just stared at the note in shock. It couldn't be. But who else had that writing and would find enjoyment in calling themselves 'Ghostie'? Not to mention correcting a calculation. He shot up out of his chair.

"Rodney?" Zelenka asked curiously as Rodney ran out of the lab. He didn't get a reply so he turned back to his work.

* * *

Rodney ran to Elizabeth's office. He knocked into several people on the way, not particularly paying attention to where he was going. When he got there he couldn't see anything. He crept over to the desk to find Elizabeth concealed behind it. She looked as if she had fallen of her chair. He quickly felt her neck for a pulse point and was relieved to see that she had just fainted. 

Just then Rodney heard wheels outside the office and Carson appeared with a nurse and a gurney.

"Figured you might want some help," a voice said quietly into his ear. He whipped around but no one was there. Carson looked just as surprised to see Rodney there as Rodney was to see him. "How did ye…?" Carson started to say but Rodney just shook his head. "Let's get Elizabeth into the infirmary first."

With the help of the nurse they got Elizabeth up on the gurney and started their way back to the infirmary. "Now will ye tell me how ye got here?" Carson asked. "I walked," Rodney drawled. Carson rolled his eyes. "Why did ye come to Elizabeth's office?" he clarified, annoyed.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." Rodney said. "Try me," was Carson's short reply. "Well…" Rodney hesitated. "I was just sitting at my desk when a random piece of paper landed in front of me and at first I thought it was Zelenka but he was still on the other side of the lab and when I read it it told me to check on Elizabeth and it was signed Ghostie and whoever did it had the nerve to correct a calculation that was perfectly fine!" Rodney babbled. Carson raised an eyebrow. "Okay there was a small mistake at the end but I would have spotted it eventually."

Carson frowned. "What?" Rodney asked. "I don't know. It's just that I got a wee note as well and…" Carson trailed off. "And?" Rodney pushed. "Well it's just the script reminded me of…John's." He finished quietly. Rodney had expected this but it still confused him.

They wheeled Elizabeth into the infirmary and deposited her from the gurney onto the bed. The nurse went to check on another patient and the two men were left to ponder what had happened. Elizabeth stirred. Carson was immediately at her side. "Easy lass, we're not quite sure what happened" he soothed.

"John?" she asked, confused, while staring over Carson's shoulder. Carson began to think she might have had a bit of a bump to the head if she couldn't focus. Just as he was thinking this Rodney said, "Um, Carson?" Carson turned to look at Rodney to find him staring away as well. He turned himself one more time to see what everybody was looking at.

Leaning casually against the doorway to the infirmary was John. Upon seeing Carson look at him he gave a cheery wave and disappeared. It was silent for a moment.

"All he missed was the puff of smoke." Rodney said amazed.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: This is the longest chapter yet! It is to make up for the slightly longer update. I hope to do it weekly from now on but no promises. Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. And for those of you who are curious I know it says by Morgan-le-fay06 at the beginning of the chapter. I just changed my penname after I wrote the first chapter. Any ideas on where the story should go from here are greatly appreciated. Constructive criticism is also helpful. Have fun!**

"You have scared a great many people Colonel Sheppard" Teyla said without opening her eyes. She was in her room meditating and sensed a presence.

"I never did understand how you could sense things like that" he replied. "Even when I am not physically there you can still tell I'm around".

She smiled and opened her eyes to find Colonel Sheppard seated across from with his legs crossed, his elbows on his knees, and his head in his hands. "You are changing the subject." He had the good grace to look sheepish. "I don't do it on purpose!" Teyla cocked an eyebrow at him. "Okay fine. So I occasionally did but only once or twice! Most of the time people just freak on their own. Speaking of which why didn't you?" he questioned. "I could tell it was you." She replied calmly. "Exactly my point! How come you just sit there and talk to me when I am supposed to have died! Passed on, kicked off, keeled over, moved to the great unknown, breathed my last breath, gone to meet my maker dead!"

Teyla blinked at him as he finished his rant. "Why are you still here though?" she asked. "Now who's changing the subject? Anyways I seriously don't know. Some random ancient person kind of appeared and told me that 'your destiny has not yet been fulfilled' and I found myself back on Atlantis." Teyla looked at him curiously. "So you have not ascended then?" "Do I look like an ancient?" he grumbled. "Being dead isn't all disappearing and freaking out people you don't like though. There is still the fact you are _dead._ It is rather depressing really."

Teyla thought for a moment. "And this ancient… they didn't tell you what exactly your 'destiny' was?" "No. Supposedly I will find out when it comes around though." he sighed. "In the meantime I have to deal with not being able to touch anything and scaring people every time they see me. Not to mention the awkwardness after they get used to you. Present company accepted of course. People don't seem to get used to the fact that I am a ghost for all intents and purposes. It is practically impossible to hold a conversation without the person cringing or twitching. It is _annoying_! You'd think after a couple of weeks," he continued.

Teyla listened quietly. She herself found it somewhat strange that she was talking to the ghost of a man whom she had seen die in front of her. She was just better at keeping her composure then the many others on Atlantis. It was harder then she let on having a dead person confide in her about the troubles of his 'life'. It didn't help that he flickered every so often. Occasionally he would disappear completely without intending it. He had originally been popping up all over the place trying to get a hang on how exactly disappearing and reappearing worked. That had caused big problems. Eventually he had learned how to fade in so as not to scare people. Unless of course he meant to. And then there was the whole 'Cheshire Cat' fiasco. At first she had had no idea what everyone was talking about until Carson had taken pity on her and explained _Alice in Wonderland_. It was rather disconcerting having a random smile appear or some floating limb. Although he had sworn that it wasn't intentional at the time, she had her doubts.

As her thoughts continued to wander she realized the room had become quiet. Oops. He had disappeared and she hadn't even noticed. No doubt he would find some way to pay her back for that. She would have to make sure that she didn't let her guard down and let him sneak up on her. Well it wouldn't really be sneaking. It would probably be closer to random materialization.

She sighed and got up. There was no point going back to meditating. She was thinking about too many things. She decided she would go visit Rodney and see if he had learnt anything about Colonel Sheppard's condition, as they were now calling it. As she left her room she wondered what it would be like having to stay on the physical world while having died. She would be glad to spend more time with her loved ones but would it become too much? Not being able to truly be there with them, not being able to communicate properly, and disappearing in the middle of peaceful conversations. It would probably be worse then simply moving on.

She let walked without really thinking about where she was going and soon found herself outside the labs. As she walked through the door she saw Rodney sitting at his desk typing away madly on his tablet. It looked as if he hadn't slept in days. In fact he probably hadn't. "Dr. McKay?" She questioned him. He jerked and looked up at her. "Oh. It's just you. I thought it was," Teyla nodded, showing she understood. "He just visited me. It seems he is getting increasingly agitated with his current situation. Have you slept at all?" she asked. "Slept?" he looked genuinely surprised by the idea. "What? I mean no. I've been working trying to figure out," Teyla cut him off. "You should sleep. You will not be of much help to him at all if you fall asleep while working." "I guess, but," he looked down at his keyboard. The keys were moving.

He started to mouth the words to himself and then scowled. "Like that's going to help convince me." he mumbled to himself. His followed the screen as the keys moved again. His eyes widened and he said out loud "Are you suicidal?!" Teyla just watched him in interest as he seemed to have an argument with the tablet. "Oh alright fine." He snapped then stormed out of the room. "Goodnight Dr. McKay!" Teyla called back to him, a small smile on her lips. He either didn't hear her or chose not to respond.

She realized he hadn't turned off, or by the looks of it saved, the work on his tablet. She walked over to it to do it for him. As she was about to shut it ff she noticed then words in blue at the bottom of the notes McKay had been working on.

_Seriously listen to her. I don't need you keeling over because I can't catch you. Not that I would. _ That must have been what ticked him off in the first place.

_If you don't go now I will delete everything. _ And that would be the suicidal statement.

_On three I swear I will. 1…, 2… _And that was probably the reason why he left. Teyla smiled as she saw the last word and then closed it down.

_Cow. _


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Yay! I kept up with my promise to update weekly! This time I took everyone's suggestions and spaced the lines out when people speak. Sorry about that. Also in this chapter there might be some wrong information. There are some episodes I missed in seasons 2 and 3 so if bits of this don't' make sense then sorry. I am going on what I saw in 'The Siege' so sorry for any problems. As always please review and ideas and constructive criticism appreciated. Enjoy!**

John was sitting on the railing looking down at the gate. Elizabeth never let him do that but since she couldn't actually see him he couldn't find a problem. He was starting to get very, very annoyed with his ethereal form. There were certain advantages to it but all in all he wished he could just have his old physical body back. He now stayed away from the mess hall as that was just painful. It was the typical 'ghosts can't eat' scenario. That paired was the uneasiness of the whole city just ticked him off. Everyone, and by everyone he meant _every_one, was recently very anxious, jumpy, and/or ill at ease. It probably had something to do with him, but he preferred denial when it came to that.

There was only one problem. Well actually there were a lot of problems, but the problem with his current train of thought was that he had no body to go back to even if there was a way. He had no idea what had happened to it. Out of consideration for everybody else he hadn't asked what they had done with his body (it sounded weird as well), or even how the funeral went. He figured that we just be painful for them. Plus he wasn't sure he really wanted his body back. It had been so long it had probably started to decompose or something else horrid. Unless it had been cremated of course. John shivered at the thoughts. He decided to think about something else more pleasant. _Ferris wheels. _Now there was a good distraction.

Unfortunately as his thoughts started to wander he found himself back at the 'Ten ways this is most painful' list. How his brain managed to go round in a circle like that he would never know. He'd recently found out that it was impossible for him to go through the gate. Elizabeth had attempted to forbid him from going through the gate but by all rights he technically didn't have to follow her orders now. He had decided to follow a group through on a mission only to find himself back in Atlantis a couple of hours later without having done anything.

That was probably the worst bit. The nothingness. Every time he disappeared by accident he found himself back on Atlantis at a completely different time. It could be seconds, minutes, hours, or even days that passed for the city and only one or two seconds for him. But in that one or two seconds he was in a place where there was no sound, no light, no feeling of anything, just nothingness. That was where he was the first went when he had died. Only then the ancient guy had been there. Of course this was only when he disappeared by accident. Not when he made himself invisible. He continued down on this slightly more enjoyable train of thought.

Just then Rodney came bounding into the gate room. He looked extremely pleased with himself. Which John had to admit wasn't that unusual.

"Hey. Has anyone seen Sam?" he asked cheerfully. The personnel there just stared at him. John, deciding he didn't want Elizabeth to know he was up here anyways (he knew she couldn't actually _do_ anything but it would just cause problems) jumped lightly down off the railing to the floor. That was another advantage. He didn't have to worry about hurting himself. He let himself appear and Rodney spotted him.

"There you are. I want you to come to the labs. There is something I want you to try."

"Rodney you know I can't actually touch anything, right?" John said, hoping Rodney hadn't lost it.

"Of course I do you numskull. It is not so much about touching as…connecting if you will."

"Whatever" John replied and followed the jovial scientist down the hallways.

Once they entered the labs there was nothing that looked particularly out of the ordinary. Just Rodney's desk, his tablet, a bunch of random scattered papers and a single ancient device.

"I've said it before and I'll say it again, you know I can't actually touch anything?" John said now admittedly curious.

"Like _I've_ said, I KNOW. Just get over there." Rodney replied. John stood beside the device and stared at it.

"What's it do?" he asked.

"Well if I knew you wouldn't be here would you?"

"But,"

"Don't start, please." Rodney interrupted. "I want you to try to touch it."

John shrugged and swiped his hand through it. As he expected nothing happened.

"Okay. Fine. So that didn't work. Now I want you to keep your hand in it," Rodney grimaced, "and just think about connecting with it. Become one with the ancients and all that stuff."

John cocked an eyebrow but did it anyways. As he placed his hand in the center of the device he thought about it activating. All of a sudden the device started to activate. Rodney just smiled smugly. John pulled his hand out.

"Okay. What just happened?" he asked, confused.

"You activated the device." Rodney replied, still smug.

"Yes, I can see that. How?"

"You still have the ancient gene! The device still reacts to it even if you aren't physically there!" Rodney said triumphantly.

"Well that's something I didn't know I could do."

"Do you have any idea what this means? It would be so much easier to activate devices and not having to worry about side effects because they wouldn't be able to do anything to you!"

"Well gee thanks for the consideration Rodney." John said sarcastically.

"Well they wouldn't." Rodney stated.

John sighed. "Never mind."

As he said this he found himself back in the nothingness again. Only this time he didn't go back instantly. He started to feel uneasy and then the Ancient turned up.

"Well, has my destiny been fulfilled?" John asked sarcastically.

"No, but there is something important that you need to know so that it can be. Now there is not much time for me to tell you this before the others figure out what I am doing. We agreed as a group to let you stay on Atlantis so that you could fulfill your destiny but I was not allowed to help. Now I must for I fear that your people will not discover them in time."

As the Ancient explained John got more and more confused. He was about to ask something but was interrupted.

"No. No time for questions I must make this quick. The Genii were culled by the wraith but a few days ago. Ladon offered them information in exchange for his life."

John had a bad feeling about where this was going.

"Ladon told the Genii that Atlantis was not gone but was still there. Even now the wraith gather their forces to attack Atlantis. You must," but the ancient was cut off as he disappeared.

"I must do what?" John yelled into the darkness. Nothing answered him. The next moment he found himself back in a random corridor of Atlantis.

'_Crap_' he thought to himself before rushing off to find Elizabeth.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I am so sorry it has taken me so long to update this story. Most of you have probably forgotten about it anyways but still, SORRY! My computer decided to delete all of the files, twice, and then a bad case of writer's block snagged me. Real life intervened as well. This chapter is a bit longer as an extra apology. Please review even if you hate me!**

Ronon strode down the corridors of Atlantis heading for the briefing room. Elizabeth had recently radioed him telling him to come there immediately. He didn't know what the hell was going on but she had sounded stressed and there was a lot of noise in the background. Ronon made it to the briefing room fast enough but may as well have arrived earlier the conversations were so loud. The shouting could be heard _at least _2 corridors back, more if you had remotely adequate hearing. He entered the room to find Elizabeth practically screaming at a rather transparent Sheppard. The apparition was standing slap bang in the middle of the table looking as if he was trying to stay out of reach from the incensed Elizabeth.

"WHAT the HELL were you thinking?!" she was saying, or rather shouting. "You are honestly relying on the word of a DREAM?"

"How many times do I have to say Elizabeth," Sheppard was saying, equally as loud only his voice had a strange echoing quality to it at this volume, "it was not a dream! I can't freakin' dream anyways! In case it has escaped your notice I am dead! Or did you miss the fact I am currently in the middle of a table?" his voice was miraculously rising in volume despite the level it was already at.

Ronon edged into the room to stand beside McKay. The two rowing parties seemed oblivious to the audience that was watching in slack jawed amazement. It consisted of the lead scientists and military plus a few stragglers who had joined in just to see what all the kerfuffle was about. Ronon nudged McKay in the ribs, hard, to get his attention. In response to the loud 'Ow!' he received he raised a questioning eyebrow. Just as McKay opened his moth Teyla entered. She looked shocked for only a moment before regaining her poise and glided over to them. She also a raised a questioning eyebrow to McKay.

"You two are just plain weird when it comes to that eyebrow thing you know that?" he said rubbing at his ribs and glaring at Ronon maliciously. Ronon stared back unfazed and waited for the scientist to respond to his unasked question. Rodney continued to grumble under his breath although the only reason Ronon could tell was because his motuh was moving. He could hardly hear over the shouting.

"It was an ancient and he was trying to warn me before we couldn't do anything about it!" John was yelling.

"An ancient! You yourself said you are not ascended! How could it be an ancient," Elizabeth was replying in kind.

Rodney chose that moment to say something. Ronon found himself leaning in along with Teyla to hear the scientist even though it appeared he was trying to raise his voice.

"…doing this for several minutes now." He was saying. "My guess is about ten. I don't think they have actually gotten anywhere but I got the gist of it before this broke out into a shouting match. I don't think either is actually winning mind you. Although Sheppard does have that freaky echoey thing going for him. But I didn't think Elizabeth could go that loud either," he continued to babble until Ronon had had enough and interrupted with a threatening "McKay." The good doctor immediately shut up.

"Well as I was saying" he sounded rather miffed, "I got the gist of it before they started fighting. Sheppard apparently had an ancient visit him and tell him the wraith were coming. He refuses to give up on this crap even though it is utter nonsense. We checked the long-range scanners as soon as he deigned us with his presence and unsurprisingly there was nothing."

"What if they are further out then that? Or if they found a way to cloak themselves from our scanners?" Teyla asked curiously. Ronon agreed wholeheartedly. Never trust the wraith and never underestimate them unless you want to end up dead.

"It is a possibility and the only thing keeping Sheppard from losing his ground at the moment. As you can probably tell Elizabeth doesn't want to risk sending a team out without any reliable confirmation. Normally I think she would consider Sheppard reliable but after he started spouting about ancients and destiny I think Elizabeth got a little bit cautious."

"It would appear that way." Teyla added eyeing the two skeptically.

"Anybody tried to break 'em up?" Ronon questioned. The whole thing seemed rather pointless to him and overall a general waste of time. If the wraith were coming they needed as much time as possible to get prepared.

Rodney rolled his eyes. "Did you fail to notice or are you just too stupid to realize that one of them is currently standing in the middle of a table and is corporeal and the other is the leader of Atlantis? It is also kind of hard to be heard right now." He said gesticulating at the room.

"Well somebody has to do something." Ronon stated matter of factly. The two looked almost at blows, that is if it were possible to actually hit or be hit. Speak of the devil (he really needed to stop hanging around these earth people; he was picking up way too many sayings) Sheppard seemed to lose it at that precise moment.

He stalked forward through the table and continued through Elizabeth. She shivered as he did so but he didn't seem to notice. He was ranting.

"Fine! I will just prove it." This was the loudest yet and it looked as if most of Atlantis was now gathered in or outside the conference room. Sheppard paid no heed to them either and walked right through everyone. He was ticked off, that much Ronon could tell. Normally Sheppard at least made some effort to avoid people, claiming that he didn't like the feeling of passing through some one else's body anymore then they did. Yet here he stalked into and out of the midst of people seemingly oblivious.

Ronon followed out of curiosity, people automatically clearing out of his way. Teyla and Rodney trailed in his wake, clearly wanting to see what was going on as well.

Without breaking stride John stopped directly in front of the long range scanner. He waited until pretty much everyone had turned his way then turned and walked into it. Not through it or halfway but actually into it. You couldn't see him and it seemed to Ronon as if he had been absorbed by the technology. The screen flickered for a moment.

Rodney rushed forwards, "Colonel if you have broken anything I will personally kill you, again!" he muttered. He paused as the screen came back to normal. His jaw dropped. Ronon wondered for a moment exactly why McKay was so in awe and then realized the range on the screen was bigger. Much bigger.

Rodney's hands immediately went flying across pads and buttons as he examined it. "His form seems to be acting as a source of energy for the equipment!" he announced to the room excitedly. "He is enhancing the range and power!" he continued.

After that he descended into techno babble that Ronon wasn't even going to try to understand.

"Rodney?" Zelenka said cautiously.

"Hm?" Rodney replied not looking up from his work.

"Did you actually look at the scanner?" he asked.

Ronon looked and his face hardened as he saw what the small scientist was worried about. McKay raised his head and his eyes widened as he finally comprehended what the problem was. There were _6 _hive ships in the top corner.

"Crap" Ronon heard McKay whisper. The noise level was silent in comparison to what it had been few minutes ago.

John reappeared and the scanner returned to normal.

"Any questions?" he asked, eyes boring into Elizabeth. The room stayed dead silent.

"Good. Then I say we find something to," he broke off, his face contorting in a mask of pain. He doubled over, flickered, and then disappeared.

Mckay voiced Ronon's thoughts.

"That can't be good."


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: This was supposed to be a filler chapter. It turned out to be the longest yet (if only by 100 words) and explain a few key points. If you are confused in any way shape or from please let me know. The rant in the middle is as much to keep me on track as explain the concept to you guys. Took me a while to figure out actually. And if there are more grammatical errors in this then usual please cut me some slack. It is currently 1:45. Am. Drop a review and tell me my early morning, or late evening as it may be, endeavors weren't for naught. Thanks!**

John woke up in the nothingness. Only this time it wasn't nothingness. It wasn't completely dark, completely sightless, completely _boring_. He first realized this when a turkey sandwich floated past his head.

'_Hmm. That was new. Wait a minute…floating sandwiches_?!' he thought to himself. John jerked upright. He promptly fell back down onto his back again at the sudden head rush. Oh right. Getting pissed off at Elizabeth, losing control, interfacing with the long range scanner, and then a really, REALLY bad headache. Or rather migraine. Or…if there was anything worse then a migraine then that had been it.

'_Okay get up slowly this time'_ he told himself mentally. He levered himself up on his elbows and then pushed upwards until he was sitting straight up. The sandwich had disappeared.

As if on queue, it appeared again. Interesting. His thoughts flew away as a considerably less but still painful headache hit him. He was so not going anywhere fast. It felt as if a mini sledge hammer was tapping away incessantly at the back of his skull. A floating sledge hammer appeared. He scooted backwards just as it whacked the 'floor' in front of him.

"Note to self: Don't think of anything that could potentially maim, mutilate, break, or otherwise hurt exponentially," he said aloud this time. Although admittedly to no one in particular.

"That would be wise Colonel Sheppard," said a voice from behind him.

He let his head fall backwards and observed the very same ancient who had already visited him twice, standing there looking at him with an odd expression that was a mix between amusement and apprehension. Or maybe that was just because John was looking at him upside down.

"Oh. Hi. Didn't think about you," John said as way of reply. He lifted his head so that all images were upright and then slowly got to his feet, wary of another head rush.

"No you didn't. But neither did you think of something that would alleviate your pain."

"Mighty fine point there."

John pictured a bottle of Tylenol. A small bottle of the stuff appeared at his feet. He grinned. This was cool. He bent to pick up the tiny container only to have his hand swipe through it. Not so cool then.

"Now that's not fair," he pouted, "not only does this make it less cool but why suggest it if it isn't going to work? And by the way I hope I haven't gotten you into too much trouble with you ancient buddies. Oh and you never got around to telling me what I had to do to fulfill my cliché."

The ancient stared at him unblinkingly.

"Destiny, whatever. Like there's a difference." John corrected himself, and not without sarcasm.

"I suggested it as a means to see how far you were into this plane; quite the contrary, I am in a fair amount of danger for my deeds; and I can not tell you what your destiny is," the ancient said, answering his questions in order.

John just blinked. That was surprisingly direct for an ancient. He decided to push his luck.

"Care to elaborate on that?" he asked.

"I must. It is why I am endangering myself by being here."

'_Finally, some answers'_ John thought doing a mental happy dance.

"First: the planes. The reason you could not yet touch the bottle is because you have not fully entered this plane yet."

'_So much for answers. Where's McKay when you need him.' _

"There are generally three planes," the ancient continued. "The mortal plane, where humans and other physical beings live; the ascended plane, where the ascended exist; and the ethereal plane where the deceased come to make their choice of ascension if possible or remain if not. Each of these can further be divided into smaller categories. At the moment you are hovering between the mortal and ethereal planes. However you are growing a stronger bond with this plane, therefore coming closer to entering it permanently. This is why you can now cause things to appear. You are gaining more control of the mind and losing control of the body."

"Whoa. Hold on there. Are you saying that I am going to become paralyzed or something?"

"Not quite. It works somewhat like a scale from one through five. One is where you have so much physical activity going on your mental capabilities are practically non-existent. This can occur at times when your physical body is fitting a virus. Many times one will have hallucinations. This is because you have less control over your mind and it is allowed to roam more freely.

Two is a small but notable amount of mental control. This could be for people who think very little about their actions. Criminals are a prime example. Psychopaths as you call them I believe."

"Wouldn't they be under the One category? Giving that they seem not to think?" John asked.

"But they do. Perhaps not rationally but they still have a certain amount of brain activity. Three would be an average human. Able to control both the mind and body. Four would be a difficult point to be at. More mental capabilities but not enough to maintain a physical form. Five is ascended. Maximum mental control and little or no physical form. Enough mental control though that you can maintain a physical form if you so desire."

"Okay. So using that scale as an example I would be…somewhere in between Three and Four?" John asked starting to catch onto the whole concept.

"Exactly. At the moment the two components are battling for superiority. That is why it causes you pain to remain on the mortal plane for an extended length of time. It also hurts to focus here. You noticed that your pain was considerably less when you had it here then when it struck you on the mortal plane."

"Understatement of the year," John mumbled.

The ancient ignored him. "Before it would have been the opposite. More pain here then there as you had a stronger link to the mortal plane. Now your link to this plane is strengthening so it is harder to control things there."

"So that's why it hurt like hell and then I ended up here after boosting the limitations on the long range scanner in the control room! I was using too much of my physical self to intertwine with the technology." John stated. Hoping to God he had this right. He did not want to have that explained again.

"Yes. This moves me to my next point. It is a warning. Do not exert yourself on the mortal plane unless **absolutely** necessary. Each time you arrive back here after failing in that plane you come closer to joining it."

"It being here?" John clarified.

"Correct. Now I must move on. No. No more questions we haven't time," the ancient put up his hand when John opened his mouth to speak. "Not only does the longer amount of time you spend here strengthen the tie and it will be harder for you to remain on the mortal plane, but the others will soon find out my ploy. I convinced my sister towards my cause and she is shielding us at this moment. The longer we stay the likelier it will be that we are found and the more trouble she will be in on my behalf. Finally and most important is your destiny. I know you think it is all absolute nonsense but this is all very real and very influential on the lives of others. I suggest you take it seriously and embrace it whole-heartedly before others, close friends, suffer because of this bull-shit as you refer to it as."

"_Oops. No offensive thoughts around people who can read your mind," _John mentally chastised himself.

"Another wise decision," the ancient said with as much sarcasm as an ancient could have. Or, very little. "I believe you are capable of fulfilling your destiny. Otherwise it would not be yours to fulfill. I can only wish you luck now."

"Uh…thanks. I think." John replied hesitantly. "So does that mean I can go then? Fulfill my destiny, save the city, rescue those in need of help,"

'_Become the godfather of all clichés…" _he continued mentally.

"Of course. Farewell and good luck."

"Yeah. Oh and no offense but I hope I won't be seeing you again." John said.

The ancient smiled. John detected a hint of sadness within it. "I doubt that John Sheppard. It is highly likely we will see each other again. But not on this or the mortal planes. Go now, you have already been here too long. Again I wish you luck and I hope you can retain your strength."

With that the ancient faded. John stared at the spot where he had been standing a few seconds before.

"Aw hell." He muttered before popping out of existence.

* * *

**TBC…**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: So here we go. SMALL SPOILERS FOR AFTER 'THE RETURN' IN THIS NOTE! I've realized I haven't set an actual timeline as of yet. I've assumed this after "The Return" just because that way they have the midway station. And obviously it is before Sunday. Still no actual spoilers though. Also screw logistics when it comes to scanner range and speed. My puny brain cannot handle the effort of trying to figure out the right time periods. **

Elizabeth ran her hand through her hair in exasperation. The wraith had appeared on the normal long range scanner a couple of hours ago with more than just the original 6 .The number of hive ships had increased drastically. Another 30 had joined the first 6 which all in all boded ill for the city and its inhabitants. The fact that the wraith had only just appeared after the week and a half John had been missing made her realize just how much he had boosted the scanner. The wraith were of course her main concern but her stress levels hadn't decreased because of John's continued absence. This was the longest period yet forcing her to recognize just how used she had gotten to having him around again. It was disconcerting talking to someone who was partially transparent, yes, but he was still _there_.

However she couldn't get distracted from the job at hand. Plans and preparations were well underway for, if necessary, an emergency evacuation to the SGC. More military personnel had also been brought over to help defend the city along with a naquadah generator. The scientists had been working almost non-stop trying to get more power to the chair and transferring the ancient database. At least one team was always out searching for more zpms. She wasn't sure how much good their efforts would do but they couldn't just abandon the outpost. However the non-essential personnel had been shipped out, however few of them there were.

She was pulled out of her thoughts by her com.

"Elizabeth?" Carson questioned.

"Yes Carson. What is it?" she replied. She hoped no one was hurt. They couldn't spare anybody.

"Rodney. He refuses to take me orders and hasn't stopped working. I'm gonna have to sedate the man soon if he doesn't listen to reason!"

Elizabeth sighed. Rodney had hardly slept at all since John had disappeared. This had obviously had repercussions and it was getting to the point where he was doing more harm than good.

"I'll send Teyla down. Perhaps she can convince him to be rational. I'd rather not have to resort to drugging him. If nothing else he will be even more irritable when he wakes up."

"Aye. Well I'll be waiting for her. Thanks lass," he said and ended the call.

Elizabeth briefly rested her head on her arms. She hadn't been getting all that much sleep either. But at least she was getting more than Rodney. She raised her head and as she did so Teyla stepped into her office.

"Are you all right Dr. Weir?" She asked.

Elizabeth smiled sadly. "Just fine Teyla. Just Fine. I was about to contact you. Carson is having a few problems with Rodney. We were hoping you might be able to help convince him to get some sleep. "

Teyla bowed her head and said, "I will try my best Dr. Weir." She looked hesitant for a moment and then asked, "You have not, I suppose heard and word about," she stopped, hesitating again.

"No. You know you will be among the first I let know if he comes back." She didn't bother to add a when although she dearly wanted to. There was no telling this time round.

Teyla nodded and without another word, exited. Elizabeth watched her retreating back until she turned down a hallway and was out of sight. She shifted her eyes back to the laptop in front of her where endless e-mails about progress and holdbacks and precautions and plans awaited. She ran her hand through her hair again before opening the first message and beginning to read.

* * *

Several hours later Elizabeth was still at her desk and still working. For every e-mail she opened, read, and sorted through another seemed to pop up and take its place. Teyla had been unsuccessful with Rodney and as a last resort, other than sedation, Carson had called in Ronon. A prompt 5 minutes later Rodney had been shooed to his quarters and had promised to get at least a couple of hours sleep.

She sent off the reply she had just finished typing. As she did so she saw someone sit themselves down in front of her. Not taking her eyes off the screen she mentally took a deep breath in preparation to hear more bad news. She looked up and her breath caught.

"_John!" _she breathed.

"Howdy. See things have gotten mighty busy around here. How long have I been gone?" he asked cheerily.

"A week and a half." She replied weakly. "You have no idea how good it is you are back. Things have descended into near chaos and," she paused, "we were all… concerned. We thought you might not come back."

"Yeah well, "he muttered darkly, "thanks to my good buddy I never had any doubt of that." Seeing her bewildered stare he added, "The one who told me I have a destiny to fulfill and presumably the one who is responsible for getting me back here whole, or as whole as a ghost can be, every time I… disappear."

Elizabeth felt herself go slightly red and despised herself for doing so when Sheppard smirked. He remembered just as well as she did the moments before he had disappeared. And more to the point why they had occurred. So maybe she had been a little over the top but things had been more stressful than usual what with John essentially not being there. Her short temper combined with the fact the story was farfetched to begin with hadn't made for a very open mind. Elizabeth mentally assured herself that wouldn't happen again. She would sure as hell listen this time round. Although he was still smirking and that wasn't helping.

"Do you mind?" She asked tiredly.

"Mind what?" he replied with an entirely fake innocence. Somehow he managed to keep that damn smirk on while talking.

"Just… never mind. So what's going on? Do you have any new information from the ancient?"

Finally the smirk disappeared to be replaced with a small scowl. "Yes and no. The information he did give me isn't really useful to anyone else. Mostly just more jabber about how I'm supposed to 'fulfill my destiny or others will suffer' et cetera et cetera. So right now the only new thing I know is that wraith are coming and judging by the subtle tense atmosphere," here his eyes flickered to the control room as someone spilt a cup of coffee on the floor, not on any actual equipment thank god, and everyone jumped, "I am guessing that that information has now been rendered rather useless."

"Your guess would be correct. There are in fact an odd 36 hive ships almost on our doorstep." Elizabeth watched as John's jaw dropped.

"36?" he asked incredulously.

She nodded. "Right now our best plan is to hold the fort for as long as possible. However most of the scientists are working on getting as much of the ancient database transferred as possible. Unfortunately we are not really expecting to win. "

"Sure as hell doesn't mean we won't try. " John said fiercely. "Look where's McKay. I need to talk to him about what I can do to help. I mean there has to be something. "He looked distinctly desperate.

"He's asleep right now. Or at least he should be. He wasn't going voluntarily so we had to pull out Ronon. You might find him in the lab though. It has been over the amount of time."

"Amount of time for what exactly?"

Elizabeth couldn't help but smile. "The amount of time Rodney promised to sleep and the amount of time Ronon threatened to guard the lab for. But before you go, just one more thing. You said most of what the ancient told you was about your...future." She decided to change the last word of her sentence at the look on John's face. "But, what was the rest about?"

"Nothing much. Just why I was disappearing and the like. My fault really." He explained hurriedly. He got up and started to leave. All of a sudden he stopped and turned to look at her. "One tiny question first. You said the wraith were on our doorstep. Where exactly _is_ our doorstep?"

This time her smile wasn't jovial. It was tired and spoke of all the work that had gone into the last week and the hassle it had caused.

"Just over two days."

For the second time she saw his jaw drop. "What? How? You said I've only been away a week and a half!"

"You have," she said calmly. "If the city survives I think that will be one of the first things we look into but as it is right now, how they approached so quickly is not our priority."

"Crap. No wonder he wanted me back here so bad. "Sheppard muttered and then took off in the direction of the labs. Or at least that is what she thought he did. It was kind of hard to tell because he'd turned invisible.

**TBC …**

**A/N: Quick thing about invisibility. I just realized that everyone else might not be able to tell the difference between John disappearing for good and turning invisible and yet obviously they did. So for the sake of it let's just say he turns really transparent so it's really hard to tell he's there. That's the best I can do. Sorry. **


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Give me some leeway with this chapter. It was hard to write and I had serious issues it wouldn't be long enough for an attack sequence. Hopefully it appeases you. There are also some swear words in this one. In fact some of you may even recognize them. I couldn't help myself though. **

Those two days where possibly the quickest to go by in his life John thought. Obviously they didn't count the days he hadn't been here but still. They went by in a whirl of ordered chaos and panic. Rodney had indeed been in his lab and had almost had a heart attack when John suddenly appeared beside him. He knew this because Rodney had told him himself. Repeatedly. Although he was annoyed he was obviously relieved. He tried to hide it but John could still tell. He'd known Rodney for long enough know to know when he was seriously ticked off and when he was just ticked off as a way to cover up other emotions. Which was, more often than not, the case.

They worked for hours trying to come up with ways John could help. Rodney kept suggesting that he incorporate himself into the main system and go from there. John agreed that that might have been a good idea had it been earlier. Rodney didn't understand why he was reluctant to do so. Eventually McKay had gotten sick of not going anywhere and had left to assist with chair operations. John found himself trying to come up with a way to help on his own. On the morning of the third day he was still trying. With only hours left until the wraith's expected arrival, non-essential personnel that weren't military had been shipped out via the midway station, with the theory that if everything went well it would only be another half hour back and if things went bad, well… they were home. Only a few scientists remained doing last minute research in a desperate attempt to find an answer. And to fix the few fixable problems that would undoubtedly arise once the wraith arrived.

Now he stood with Elizabeth, Rodney, Lorne and a few others in the control room. Waiting for the inevitable. Ronon and Teyla weren't far away talking quietly.

"Any moment now." Rodney said. His voice shook just a little.

John found himself listening to every noise around him. Just waiting for the sound of something louder. He heard Teyla's and Ronon's quiet conversation. Lorne (who had been made military commander in John's 'absence'), not too far away from them, was checking to make sure all the teams were in their assigned positions. Damn it he couldn't even help them. It wasn't like he could hold a weapon and he didn't have any ass kicking superpowers. Only the kind that looked cool but weren't actually that useful.

And that's when they heard it; the distinct sound of something hitting the shield. And then another something. And then a lot of other something's. He tensed as the sound of rail guns started. Then the drones Beckett was responsible for. There was nothing he could do damn it!

People were shouting in the control room now. Relaying percentages and times. And then there was Rodney swearing vehemently.

"Rodney!" Elizabeth yelled above the noise. "What's wrong?"

John saw more than heard Rodney give a short a bark of humorless laughter.

"What's wrong?" he yelled back. "What's wrong other than the fact that we're under attack by the wraith _again_? Well maybe just the small issue that the shield is draining incredibly fast. And I mean 100 to 83 in the last 10 minutes!"

Damn, damn, damn, damn, damn!

"Why is it draining so quickly?" John yelled.

"How would I know?! I can only hear what's going on outside not see it! So sorry I don't have the time to stroll out and check!"

John didn't wait. He strode over to the door and palmed it open. Floors below he could see men firing the rail guns. He pulled his eyes away and instead looked to the skies. He froze for a few seconds. That definitely classified under the really _really_ bad category. He sprinted back in completely forgetting to open the door again in his haste.

"Not only are the firing on us with 36 hive ships worth of fire power, the darts are going for the kamikaze approach! Between all the hive ships they must have enough that it doesn't matter if most of them go out."

McKay was frantically typing away, obviously on the verge of panicking. John found himself having flashback after flashback to the siege in their first year.

"McKay!" Ronon bellowed. "They're going to deplete the shield and then destroy any firepower we have. You've got to keep the shield up for as long as possible."

"You think that's not what I'm trying to do Conan?" Rodney yelled back.

The satedan growled, kicked a wall and then sprinted off. No doubt to join one of the teams further out. John could understand the need to feel he was doing something. But he couldn't follow Ronon. It wouldn't do a bit of difference. He couldn't help. What the hell was he supposed to do!

"Shields down to 46!"

How had that much time passed! John felt like pulling his hair out in frustration. More flashbacks. Teams, jumpers. Jumpers!

"McKay! The jumpers," he was cut off almost instantly.

"We didn't even try to do the automatic thing this time. And I'm glad we didn't . Remember we ran out of power the last time? Just think how much more strain the shield is being put through right now! There was never going to be enough power to start with and the drain is even greater than we anticipated! And no way are you going on another one of your suicide runs. I don't care if you're already dead. You're probably linked to the city somehow and now is not the time to test that theory!"

"It's as good a time as any!" John roared. "If I'm linked to the city I can't evacuate with everyone else anyways so," but he was cut off again, this time by another technician.

"Shields at 39 . Dr. McKay we may gain power for the shield if we stop using the chair."

"We can't stop using the chair! It's our best defense!"

"Rodney!" Elizabeth jumped into the havoc. "If we stop using the chair we'll have more time to get everyone back here and evacuate. We are losing this battle. We need to set the self destruct and get everyone out. We tried and there is nothing more we can do!"She changed focus and signaled to Lorne. Having heard the exchange he immediately set about calling back everyone around the base. John felt a hand on his arm. Teyla stood beside him.

"What will you do? As Dr. McKay said you cannot evacuate with us. "

With us? Wait a minute, "Teyla you're going with them?"

She raised one eyebrow. "As is Ronon. I have settled my people for the time being and they are pleased enough. I have grown accustomed to the people of this city's company. I could not leave them in such a time. Ronon I believe feels much the same way. "

John gaped. "But, your people, what?"

"Dr. Weir has, as you say it, 'pulled a few strings' and the Daedalus will make a return trip with Ronon and myself. It will drop us with my people. Had I not had that option I would not be here. Regardless of the connections I have with your people I could not abandon my own."

"32!" Someone called out. John realized that the sound of drones had stopped. Of course. The teams had been called back. They would include everyone in the chair room. Alarms started blaring as the self destruct was set.

"Colonel? John?" Teyla inquired again. But John had just understood something.

"_It is highly likely we will see each other again."_

_Suicide mission_

"_But not on this or the mortal planes."_

"_You're probably linked to this city somehow."_

_Chair room_

John sprinted off with Teyla still calling his name. The chair controlled pretty much everything so if there was anything left to try he could provide the energy to do it. If not he could fire drones and take down as many of those tenacious little bastards as he could.

He considered transporting himself down to the chair room but decided not to risk it. He wanted as much energy as possible when he used the chair and now was so not a good time to visit his ancient friend.

He arrived there a few minutes later slightly out of breath. How could he be out of breath? He didn't need to breathe! No focus. Carson and the others were still there, finishing packing up their gear. He dodged past them ignoring Carson's startled exclamation. He stepped into the chair, he was never going to get used to that, and focused on the city's systems. He was immediately barraged with information and systems. He filed it down to weapons and sifted through the information. Drones and…. John gave a mental gasp. How in hell had nobody ever found _that_ before? He examined it briefly.

' _Ah. That was why_.' Energy levels required about 3 full Z.P.M.s. He knew he had a snowball's chance in hell of surviving this, as little as survival was, but he always wanted to go out with a bang and if this worked it would do a lot more than make a bang.

John focused all his attention on that one weapons system. He felt it powering up. It was going to work, it had to. It started. And with it so did the pain. Last time was a splinter compared to this. John kept directing it and it was destroying everything but the pain was getting worse and worse. He couldn't do it. The blackness was closing in. He struggled to keep going. And then they were leaving. He could feel through the scanners that the hive ships and darts were retreating. He kept going though. He had to get as many of them as possible. The blackness was almost complete now. The pain was excruciating.

He tried to resist it. For some funny reason John had the distinct feeling this darkness wasn't his old hangout. No this was definitely somewhere he didn't want to go. But whether he wanted to go or not didn't really matter. John went and the blackness was absolute.

**A/N: Euch. Make me feel better about that and review please. The best part about this is that those of you who have read my other work know there is no certainty this will all work out o.k. Haha! Oh suspense is wonderful no? **


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